{"id":335,"date":"2017-02-06T19:30:53","date_gmt":"2017-02-07T02:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/?p=335"},"modified":"2025-12-11T22:28:05","modified_gmt":"2025-12-12T05:28:05","slug":"due-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/2017\/02\/06\/due-date\/","title":{"rendered":"Due Date"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"After shrieking with joy and sharing the news with Matt, one of the first things I did after finding out I was pregnant last summer was calculate the due date for our baby: February 6, 2017. This date has been imprinted on my heart from that day. And after months of waiting, it\u2019s finally here. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But our months of waiting didn\u2019t unfold the way we expected. After finding out that my pregnancy was ectopic, the dreams of our future child were crushed and our hearts were shattered. Our months of waiting for a baby\u2019s due date turned into months of grief, recovery, more fertility treatments, and waiting for another pregnancy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Back in June when I first imagined February 6th, I pictured meeting my child today. But that\u2019s not happening; I\u2019m not holding our child in my arms, listening to her cry, or watching her open her eyes. I\u2019m not going to be awake all night tending to her or memorizing her every feature while she sleeps.<\/p>\n

Instead, today I\u2019m reflecting on life, loss, and love. I\u2019m grieving our loss and feeling the emptiness in my arms and my quiet home. Tonight we lit a candle in memory of our pregnancy, of a child we never had the chance to meet. I\u2019m remembering the joy I felt and dreams I had when I was pregnant. And I\u2019m feeling love. I feel my love for Matt and the love that urged us to want to become parents together. I feel my love for the child I carry in my heart instead of my arms, and love for a future child I hope to still bring into our family.<\/span><\/p>\n

We begin the egg stimulation phase of IVF soon, and today (of all days) I had my final check-up and lab work before the injections begin. When I first saw the date for the appointment I was a little freaked out, but I\u2019ve decided to take it as a sign of love and good luck that we were given the green light to proceed today, on my due date. We\u2019re moving forward with love and science in the hope that soon we\u2019ll have a new due date to look forward to, one that will turn into a birthdate of a living child. <\/span><\/p>\n

Today we\u2019re honoring our due date with memories of my pregnancy, hope for the future, and love for each other and our family — family who live among us and family who live in our hearts.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After shrieking with joy and sharing the news with Matt, one of the first things I did after finding out I was pregnant last summer was calculate the due date for our baby: February 6, 2017. This date has been imprinted on my heart from that day. And after months of waiting, it\u2019s finally here. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[12,14,54,24,22],"class_list":["post-335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflections","tag-grief","tag-hope","tag-ivf","tag-together","tag-waiting"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7UmuL-5p","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":410,"url":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/2017\/04\/28\/waiting\/","url_meta":{"origin":335,"position":0},"title":"Waiting","author":"Jenna","date":"April 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0Infertility is waiting\u2026 waiting... waiting... Infertility is waiting for the small things. Waiting for appointments. Waiting to see doctors. Waiting to see nurses. Waiting to see phlebotomists. Waiting for test results. Waiting to start my next treatment. Waiting for the next phase in my treatment. Waiting two weeks. Waiting for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reflections"","block_context":{"text":"Reflections","link":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/category\/reflections\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/infertility_is_waiting-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":92,"url":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/2016\/09\/24\/the-two-week-wait\/","url_meta":{"origin":335,"position":1},"title":"The Two Week Wait","author":"Jenna","date":"September 24, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"By this point in our infertility journey I should be able to consider Matt and myself experts in practicing patience. After all, we have waited and waited and waited. We have waited in doctor\u2019s offices and our local hospital. We have waited in labs and pharmacies. We have waited for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reflections"","block_context":{"text":"Reflections","link":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/category\/reflections\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"two_week_wait","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/two_week_wait-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":365,"url":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/2017\/03\/22\/infertility-is\/","url_meta":{"origin":335,"position":2},"title":"Infertility is…","author":"Jenna","date":"March 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"It was hard to first admit to myself that we were experiencing infertility... By the time I did, we\u2019d already found out I wasn\u2019t ovulating on my own, and as a result I\u2019d been through three cycles of clomid. Even though I had already started fertility treatments, I didn\u2019t consider\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reflections"","block_context":{"text":"Reflections","link":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/category\/reflections\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/infertility_is-1-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":418,"url":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/2017\/05\/18\/grief\/","url_meta":{"origin":335,"position":3},"title":"Grief","author":"Jenna","date":"May 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"My infertility is profound grief. My infertility is constantly grieving for the family I desire to have with Matt, for the children I long to hold in my arms and share my life with. It is constantly grieving the loss of what has not happened yet, what could have been\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reflections"","block_context":{"text":"Reflections","link":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/category\/reflections\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/infertility_is_grief-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":34,"url":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/2016\/09\/18\/sitting-with-grief\/","url_meta":{"origin":335,"position":4},"title":"Sitting With Grief","author":"Jenna","date":"September 18, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes I have really bad days. Days where I need to cry and feel very sad. Days where I need to sit on the couch and snuggle my kitties. Days where I intentionally wear a sweatshirt because I\u2019ve found them to be the best for bad days -- they are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Coping"","block_context":{"text":"Coping","link":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/category\/coping\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"sitting_with_grief","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/sitting_with_grief-216x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":313,"url":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/2017\/01\/28\/mixed-emotions\/","url_meta":{"origin":335,"position":5},"title":"Mixed Emotions","author":"Jenna","date":"January 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"As we prepare to begin the stimulation phase of IVF in a few weeks, I have been thinking hard about all of the things I\u2019m feeling\u2026 and it\u2019s certainly a mix. Many people assume that I\u2019m feeling very excited and optimistic, and while I certainly do feel those things right\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reflections"","block_context":{"text":"Reflections","link":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/category\/reflections\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/mixed_emotions-243x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=335"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":340,"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335\/revisions\/340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.iamhalfhope.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}